Meditation of My Heart

I was thinking about a sermon I recently listened to by Voddie Baucham. He was talking about brokenness in the life of a believer. I was considering his point about remembering who we were to point to God who brought us from there. How many times I have blown it .... and I mean really blown it as a parent. Some memories that I cringed at and felt so guilt ridden because of my sin in dealing with my kids. Oh how I wished I could change it or at the least forget it!!! Yet, now I look at those memories in a new light. What a wretch I was! But how great God is !!!! He has taken me so far. He has changed who I am. Only God could take a wretch like me and do anything with her. I have a wonderful relationship with my kids. Thanks be to God and Him alone. I see those times of total rebellion, self centeredness and immaturity and how far I have come. God has taken the years stolen and given them back ten fold. I can look back and now rejoice. I can see God's goodness, God's grace and Go...

A poem I wrote awhile ago. But hey, it's my blog, I can put whatever I want here. :o) The Calico Quilt  I have memories all fashioned with laughter and cheers  Bound together tightly with heartache and tears  Each stitch is so precious  One of a kind  Creating a masterpiece....  A calico quilt in my mind  The stitches uneven, the edges are frayed  Each square is different but don't be dismayed  It's highly treasured - one of a kind  Made by many hearts, this Calico Quilt in my mind  Mismatched squares by small little hearts  Stained, worn and loved in so many parts  My children so hastily put each piece in place  The more that I held them the quicker they raced  Each precious memory added a square  Softly I touch the fabric laid there  Many friends have added some squares of their own  Their styles are different, but carefully sewn  Bright fl...

My oldest, Portia, turned 20 today. It is incredible to realize it has been this long since I first held her in my arms. Where did the years go? As I cuddled Benjamin in my arms today and think how far away 20 years seems, I realize it is just a blink. It won't be long until diapers give way to bicycles and bicycles to cars. It sure makes me wish I could hold the days a little tighter. Happy Birthday my beautiful daughter. May you cherish each moment completely for when it is gone it is gone.  May I hold my kids a little tighter today, squeeze them and smell their hair, listen to the giggles and nonsensical banter with contentment. May I touch their hands and contemplate their softness and may I read with them, play with them and laugh with them. May we make the memories we will hold on to because that is all I will have left of today.

Home School. A simple phrase that dominates so much in my daily life in both activity and thought. To be successful, all I needed to do was spend 13 years working to make sure my children were at the top of the class of kids a year older than them, athletically well trained and had some knowledge of any subject that could ever be brought up in polite or impolite conversation. Okay maybe not impolite but definitely the bizarre. :o) Watch out Jeopardy here they come!! Okay, well seriously that might be an overstatement, but how much do I place my success as a parent on how well they are schooled. God knew what I needed!! Some girls that weren't going to cooperate with their training to earning a Nobel Prize. Having graduated one girl and starting at the beginning with another, I can sure see where God has led me. When did our success become lined up with a worldy view? Have we traded academics for Godliness? The wisdom of man is foolishness to God. Yet we strive for it. Am I not more...

As my house clutters itself, the kids are left alone and many things should be attended, I struggle. I used to think it was just a battle of self-discipline that I struggled with. I knew the things I should be doing, but continued to do the things that waste my time with little to show for it. Sounds familiar. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I {would} like to {do,} but I am doing the very thing I hate. Maybe if I would just try a little harder, stay a little more focused. Yet, the deeper issue is a battle of flesh. I am self-centered. I like to entertain myself. It is harder to let myself go neglected for the sake of family. Is this what Paul meant when he said women were saved through child-bearing? Is it through a family we learn to die to self? After 5 kids, I would think I would be a little more dead. Yet, the beast of flesh rages on. I had heard that self-discipline is gained by daily doing the mundane. Finding joy in the trivia of life. I th...

This has been heavily on my heart the past year. Salvation of the believer. I spent the majority of my life hearing about "the prayer". Say a prayer and you are saved. Repent and ask Jesus into your heart and He will come. If you question your faith, just remember the day you prayed. If a "believer" is living in sin, he has been wandered from the faith, he is acting carnal or backslidden. Is belief enough to save? Absolutely! However, is our definition of belief Biblical? Jesus said that you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart , with all your soul , with all your mind , and with all your strength! Belief in a Biblical sense takes up every essence of our being. It isn't just the mind from which say a prayer comes from, it is also from the heart and soul from which we follow whole heartedly. It is a complete change! Biblical belief conforms us to His image.. it is every fiber in our being will be sanctified to Him. Our flesh is stripped and our p...

An interesting concept... blogging. Millions of people sharing what they think on a forum that others can read the private, deepest, quirkiest thoughts of people they might happen to not even know. A public diary? Or just a place to share your thoughts without interruption? I might give it a try. Not sure what will become of it.