Meditation of My Heart

Reflection. A pause to ponder things of the past. Lately, things have come across my path - blogs, conversations - that have caused me to reflect. I will celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary this year. Amazing! It sounds so cliche' but "Where has the time gone?"  I have changed so much in 25 years. My ideas. My beliefs. My goals. Where is the 18 year old girl that thought she would be a pediatric psychiatrist and put her children in daycare? I look and see that she and I are so different. Yet a part of her still dwells in the shadows of me.  How times change! When we swaddled that first child and brought her home, we were the progressive parents and we were going to get it right unlike the generations before. Progressive would have been better titled permissive and child-whipped. By the time child number two was coming home, we came to the conclusion this isn't working. We joined a parenting class that taught us a lot about discipline, but not much grace. This was...

Eric Liddel was a passionate man. He lived his passion in his faith in every nook of his life. He ran ... he ran fast. He won a bronze and a gold in the 1924 Olympics. He wouldn't compete in the 100 meter runs because they were held on Sunday. He was a man of God. He lived with conviction. I am sure he heard "Well done, my good and faithful servant". I love his quote. "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel his pleasure."  There are times when I write, not everytime, but in the quiet still times of praising God, I feel His pleasure. It is like He is pouring out His glory in my life and I have to write. In the times of snuggling kids, cleaning house, doing laundry or cooking a meal that makes the family feel I love them, I feel HIS pleasure. The times when His glory pours out into me and I do .... do whatever to the glory of God.  When do you feel His pleasure?

 Matthew states  "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men."  Salt also preserves keeps spoilage from happening. It is our job to offer flavor, the love the God, and to stand against decay. To say, "In the name of Christ, stop!" Here is such a beautiful example of it. This is from a speech by Ronald Reagan. The story of Telemachus may be found in the Foxes Book of Martyrs.  The Asian monk living in a little remote village, spending most of his time in prayer or tending the garden from which he obtained his sustenance -- I hesitate to say the name because I'm not sure I know the pronunciation, but let me take a chance. It was Telemacmus, back in the fourth century. And then one day, he thought he heard the voice of God telling him to go to Rome. And believing that he had heard, he set out. And weeks and weeks later, he arrived...

Every now and then in life, something comes along that shakes my world and makes me reevaluate everything. I feel I was blindsided by a force beyond anything I could stand against. I was casually catching the updates, cute quips, photos and inspirational links posted by friends on facebook. Then it came from nowhere, not really welcomed and with such power it couldn't be ignored. Chinese-Made Infant Flesh Capsules Seized   The comments regarding the article discussed Chinese cannibalism with pictures of babies cooked and floating in pots. STOP. Let that really sink in for a minute. The nausea and tears wouldn't stop. Days later the pit in the stomach still remains. Oddly enough an article said that countries typically ignore it because they don't want to upset the political ties.   ??!! I have spent days absentmindedly listening to/ reading about $10 hairbows to match outfits, the newest app, registering kids for sports, the newest TV show or twist and I could...

I would invite you to read James 2:14-26 before reading my post. What use is it, my brethren, if a man says he has faith but he has no works can that faith save him? James 2:14 Strong's defines the word faith as conviction respecting man's relationship to God and divine things with the idea of trust and holy fervour born of faith and joined with it. 1828 dictionary describes fervour as earnestness in the duties of religion. It describes earnestness as zeal. Faith is zeal over the things of God. Save means to keep safe from Messianic judgment. Hell. I believe James is addressing the same problem we have today.  "Can your faith save you?"Is faith alone enough?  Does asking Jesus into your heart mark spiritual rebirth? Now I can already hear the cries of salvation is by grace alone. Please read the whole post. I am not arguing against that. Salvation is always by grace and not works. James asks a few rhetorical questions throughout the book. In verse James 3:1...

 I experienced a painful breaking of a friendship in my life. I have been reading through a True Woman Movement book which points out that all trials in our life are chosen for us by God. I had been learning to accept this season in my life as a gift from God. This weekend at True Woman Conference was an incredible working of God stripping things from my life. So painful and so beautiful at the same time. Through the sovereignty of God, I went alone to this conference. I couldn't even find anyone I knew. I had left phone numbers at home to be able to even contact them. God isolated me. A speaker asked us to pray with those around us about things when needed to surrender to God. Those around me gathered with people they came with. In that instance, I felt utterly isolated and alone. God revealed that I desired friendship with people more than friendship with Him. I felt extremely lonely. I began to surrender with the crying out in my heart that I will give this up, but...

When we moved to East Texas from the crowded city life, there were many strange differences. Things that are just normal to small town folks that they don't even notice them. However, come from a big city and it seems weird.  It was strange to see a hog running along the side of a highway. Nice little differences like not having to plan a whole day around getting your car registered. I actually had to double check that I was at the right building when I saw there was no one in line. Here in East Texas it is tradition that if a funeral procession is on the way from the funeral home to the grave sight that every car on both sides of the road will stop until they pass. I wish I could say someone had warned me of this tradition as I was toodling down the road with my children and had a woman from the funeral procession let me know in unrepeatable words how unhappy she was with me. The awkward embarrasment of knowing I had done something wrong, as well as the stares from the cars alon...

I have just finished the book Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas. Every woman needs to read this book. This book will challenge you to be the best God would have you be. It will stretch you the standard God has for every believer. It will practically show you how to live as a wife. It will give you a new view on what marriage is all about. Holiness over happiness. If you want to be stretched, challenged and changed beyond what any marriage book has done for you in the past, this is a must read. I plan on reading this book at least every couple years. I encourage you to read it and see for yourself!

My daughter and her husband moved out of our small town to about 15 minutes in the country. One of my favorites things about the change is the drive. The back way from our house to hers takes me by my favorite spot. It has hills and you can actually see them. Usually there are so many trees, it is hard to see anything for very far. I dream of owning a country house out in those hills. I dream of cows, chickens, goats, a horse and a huge garden. I dream of being able to feed my family off the land and getting back to the basics. I dream of it so deeply sometimes, I can feel an ache inside. I read a quip, probably on facebook, a little while ago that said, "God's gifts are better than man's best dreams!". Isn't that comforting!! I don't know why we don't have that perfect house in my perfect spot. However, I do know that God is sovereign and His love is perfect. He knows so much more than I do.  He knows whether my dream would bring joy or sorrow. He kno...