Meditation of My Heart

Adolescence is described as a period or stage of development preceding maturity. Recently I heard statistics that point to the fact that adolescence is not ending at 18, 19 or 20. We have begun to see adolescence clear into the 30s. This idea was foreign a few generations ago. Teenage years were a time of apprenticeship and beginning of responsibility.  Girls were married at 14,15 or 16 and society thought nothing of it. Why? Their period of development preceding maturity was a child. They expected more of them by the time they became teens.  Maturity is not a black and white moment defined by reaching a certain age. Maturity is the achieving a certain level of character that defines you as trustworthy. Maturity is having self-control. Self-control to do what you need to and refrain from those things you don't.  I have noticed a lack in teaching children to be mature. The Bible says even a child is known by their doings. I fear that we are going to see adolesc

 I experienced a painful breaking of a friendship in my life. I have been reading through a True Woman Movement book which points out that all trials in our life are chosen for us by God. I had been learning to accept this season in my life as a gift from God. This weekend at True Woman Conference was an incredible working of God stripping things from my life. So painful and so beautiful at the same time. Through the sovereignty of God, I went alone to this conference. I couldn't even find anyone I knew. I had left phone numbers at home to be able to even contact them. God isolated me. A speaker asked us to pray with those around us about things when needed to surrender to God. Those around me gathered with people they came with. In that instance, I felt utterly isolated and alone. God revealed that I desired friendship with people more than friendship with Him. I felt extremely lonely. I began to surrender with the crying out in my heart that I will give this up, but I need yo

I am beginning to think any sermon by a leader I admire named "Brokenness" if definitely worth listening to. This is the first of the message. Worth listening to the whole message. May I be broken before God!

When we moved to East Texas from the crowded city life, there were many strange differences. Things that are just normal to small town folks that they don't even notice them. However, come from a big city and it seems weird.  It was strange to see a hog running along the side of a highway. Nice little differences like not having to plan a whole day around getting your car registered. I actually had to double check that I was at the right building when I saw there was no one in line. Here in East Texas it is tradition that if a funeral procession is on the way from the funeral home to the grave sight that every car on both sides of the road will stop until they pass. I wish I could say someone had warned me of this tradition as I was toodling down the road with my children and had a woman from the funeral procession let me know in unrepeatable words how unhappy she was with me. The awkward embarrasment of knowing I had done something wrong, as well as the stares from the cars alon

I have skipped a couple chapters and might post about them later. This has been a hard "assignment" for me. How do I respond in any adequate fashion to such eloquently written chapters? Now to sum up this chapter. Do I just say Sovereignty of God?  Yet the Sovereignty of God is so completely overwhelming where do we even start to comprehend that. Yet even a minuscule tidbit can so drastically throw my life in a spin that changes me forever. What is a true woman? One that trusts so completely that God is in such control, that He CHOSE every difficult situation we are in to HIS glory in us. I can rest in my struggles because He wants me to go through them. That is so reassuring, that is the basis of my hope and my joy. It is what allows me to hum praises in the hardest of days. Praying that I learn to live God-centered because in realty God is the center of all things. Isn't that the essence of sovereignty?  If I truly grasp this, my life will reflect it. It will chan

We started Truthquest History this year and are thoroughly enjoying it. I love supplementing with hands on and movies when possible. We read the "true" stories and find it fun to find the discrepancies in the fiction and sometimes liberally influenced movies. Surprisingly we have found some really good historically Christian based movies as well. This is a good supplement to any history you are doing. Movies are sometimes very hard to classify into specific time periods because they don't write down the exact times on most descriptions. I am trying to figure out the best way to classify these. However, I have found while studying history if we are in the general area it doesn't seem to matter. I have listed dates as closed as I could. If the movie is about someone, I have listed the years they have lived. Depending if the movie is a life story or just a part of their life will determine the years it covers. TQ - Truthquest Recommended    FFF Feature Films for Fam

A couple recipes I am finding to save us money. I like Zoot (at our Walmart). I use 1/3 bar, it is bigger than the Fels-Naptha bar which I found at Kroger. I like the smell of it. This I took from the Duggar family page. Homemade Liquid Laundry Soap- Front or top load machine- best value 4 Cups - hot tap water 1 Fels-Naptha soap bar 1 Cup - Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda* ½ Cup Borax - Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted. -Fill a 5 gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken. -Stir and fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser half full with soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. (will gel) -Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap has cooled. Ideas: la

I feel privileged to share in blogging this new book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss . I pray that God will use this time to encourage and challenge me. I also pray that through His work in me, I might be able to encourage someone else. I realize that I can only be a vessel of His work. I am the tool, He is the master. I pray that during the next few weeks or months that God will challenge me and others to become woman for change, woman that will challenge the norm in society. I pray He will will rise us up as models that point to a better calling, a higher standard that in every fraction in our lives will glorify Him!! All glory to God who never accepts "good enough"!!

I have just finished the book Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas. Every woman needs to read this book. This book will challenge you to be the best God would have you be. It will stretch you the standard God has for every believer. It will practically show you how to live as a wife. It will give you a new view on what marriage is all about. Holiness over happiness. If you want to be stretched, challenged and changed beyond what any marriage book has done for you in the past, this is a must read. I plan on reading this book at least every couple years. I encourage you to read it and see for yourself!

As God seems to continually bring holiness to my attention, I find that I am thinking about it in the littlest things. Pursuit of holiness happens every moment of everyday. "Consider it all joy" in every situation can be overwhelming. As I was putting away pots and pans from last night's dinner, I started to grumble about the lack of space in my kitchen which causes me to put pans away in the most awkward cupboard. "Happiness or holiness" came to mind.  I then, at the prompting of God, thanked him for the dishes that are often dirty with more than enough food, evident by my bulging waistline. My girls are probably tired of hearing "Are you pursuing your happiness or holiness". I am learning to thank God for the overdemanding kids that cause me to die to myself. I am praising God for the amount of home schooling two teens, parenting with an autistic child, keeping up with a toddler and trying to keep a house that has caused me to evaluate what is im

One of the benefits to scripture memorization is the ability to redeem seemingly idle time. As I was rocking my sick baby to sleep, I was meditating on some verses in James. Jam 1:2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, Jam 1:3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Jam 1:4 And let  endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. Trials is what according to verse 3? It is the testing of your faith. Anything that tests your faith and remember according to James 1:13-15 that all things are trials unless we respond sinfully to them then they are temptations.. As Hebrews 14:23 states that all things not of faith are sin, so we are to respond in all things in faith. What happens in the testing of faith is endurance. We will be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. What a promise! Something to remember when I struggle with just the routines of a day. Character is built in routine, mu

My daughter and her husband moved out of our small town to about 15 minutes in the country. One of my favorites things about the change is the drive. The back way from our house to hers takes me by my favorite spot. It has hills and you can actually see them. Usually there are so many trees, it is hard to see anything for very far. I dream of owning a country house out in those hills. I dream of cows, chickens, goats, a horse and a huge garden. I dream of being able to feed my family off the land and getting back to the basics. I dream of it so deeply sometimes, I can feel an ache inside. I read a quip, probably on facebook, a little while ago that said, "God's gifts are better than man's best dreams!". Isn't that comforting!! I don't know why we don't have that perfect house in my perfect spot. However, I do know that God is sovereign and His love is perfect. He knows so much more than I do.  He knows whether my dream would bring joy or sorrow. He kno

Testing! Trials! Stretching! Hardship! Pain! Those words don't seem to bring vision of much joy. These are things I would like to avoid at all costs. Yet, scripture has them in a different light for a believer. They bring growth. Much growth if we submit to the trials God brings. He allows them to strengthen us and to draw us to Him. I have endured much pain in the last six weeks. Trials that have cut deep into my soul. Piercing far more than I thought would be what I could bear. Times I was so perplexed in it. Can sin in another's life bear fruit in ours? A resounding YES if I choose to respond in a way that God would desire. It is hard to respond as God would chose though. It is hard to honor Him when our souls are so raw that the slightest brush causes to writhe in pain. Yet as He heals me with His love and washes me in His word, my mind begins to clear. I see His goodness in the timing of a well spoken word, a sermon preached just for me, the gently comfort of His Spi

Spring! The time for planting. Have you ever planted a small tree? It needs extra protection. Many times you will see a fence around it to protect it from nibbling animals. Often it will have a stake next to it to support it. It just needs the time to establish the roots. It is unable to protect itself or weather the disasters, natural or man-made, that happen to come along. I couldn't help but think how that reminds me of being a parent. It is my job to shelter my kids until they have deep enough roots to weather life's storms. I am to protect them just as God protects us. 1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. He doesn't give us more than we can handle. When a tree is small the fence covers almost all of it, as it grows the branches start to

Jam 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, Jam 1:3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. Jam 1:4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. Trials. I feel I have had my fair share of them lately. We all do at some point in our lives. Health issues, work pressure, trouble with friends, financial problems, failures, sin struggles .. the list goes on and on. Sometimes we rush into things causing our own sort of mayhem and chaos to deal with. Other times, trials just seem to encompass us from all directions. They blow in from seemingly nowhere. I was reading in John MacArthur's commentary. A trial becomes a temptation when we chose to react to a trial with a wrong human response. It changed my outlook on the struggles I am going through. How can I glorify God in this right now? What is the response He is looking for in me at this moment? Is this a trial God

My heart does rend the pain of sin that clutches at my soul Who can climb free and finally be made whole The reaches of the dark stained arms stretch far beyond my sight It suffocates and twists and tears with a mighty fight Oh! To tear away the scars it burrows in my mind Lies piercing deep within my soul wrapping me in binds Destroying all within my reach because I cannot see But, alas, I beg who has the strength to finally set me free? Not one, not one of mortal man can break the bond of sin Oh, agony untold, of death that churns within Deep within the heart, its darkness who can face? This turmoil has to fall completely on Your Grace Crushed beneath the weight I bear, broken deep within my soul Yet through death, victory comes, and then He makes me whole Oh life so sweet, He paid a price, He paid a price for me! Liberating mercy, You died to set me free! Oh beloved, don’t you know, you must call upon His name Throw yourself on the cross and never b