Meditation of My Heart

To Behold Him He is Kindness Gentleness, Compassion Not in touch so tender  but in definition of His Name So may I rest in Him He is Power Not in works and wonders or miracles we see but in the essence of His being So may I fear Him He is Sovereign Not in moments  Or perfect timelines but in the vastness of His mind So may I trust Him He is Just Not fair Not considering the ways of man but righteousness so pure So may I tremble before Him He is  Grace Not in turned wrath Or showered favor But in the weaving of His heart  So may I weep at His feet He is Holy Not in laws Or in sacrifices but far beyond my understanding So may I worship Him He is God Wonders just a shadow Works just a reflection He is! So He does!  So may I ever marvel

Snap! A belt whizzes through the air. A little girl, about the age of 6, covers her face with her hands to keep the leather from striking her face. Count to 10!, her father screams. She cowers, trying to push herself in the corner of the dog pen she is shut in, as far away from the anger as she can. He lashes out both in tongue and in each strike as it comes. The details blur. How long did she cry? How long did she beg for him to stop until she gave up trying? Long enough to think it wouldn't end. Why? Was it the alcohol? Who knows ... but it was definitely the sin of a broken world. It is a world that we often feel like God has abandoned. A world that God often seems powerless. Tonight in church we studied Mark 5. In verse 25, we learn of a woman that bled for 12 years. For 12 years, she sought doctors for healing. Did she think God had forgotten her? Did she feel He didn't care? Can you imagine the desperation of being considered unclean by your own people for 12 years? 1...

With assisted suicide in the news lately and this being the anniversary of my mother's death a year ago from brain cancer, I have been thinking. I understand people wanting to not suffer, not wanting to have those they love watch them suffer, not wanting to be unable to care for themselves. I get it. As a Christian though, we are not called to comfortable or an easy life. We are called to glorif y God. My mother's suffering was beautiful in its own way. Do I wish she or us went through it .... no, but it was beautiful none the less. We only had a short time of suffering and I can understand those that would struggle month in and month out would get tired, but we have Christ and His strength. When my mom couldn't remember the day or where she was, she remembered everything was to the glory of God. When her body failed with seizure after seizure and stroke after stroke, her spirit was soaring and showering God's faithfulness and love on all those that cared for her. In...

Sep 02, 2015 11:41pm I am her A woman whose soul is torn Courage slips between the fingers Scared, shattered and alone Tomorrow a lost promise I am broken I am her A woman trapped in darkness wandering alone Sold my body and lost my soul Worthless and used I am hopeless I am her A woman imprisoned by fear Held captive by the worthlessness Sinking in ... can no longer breathe Fighting terror within because it is without I am dying I am her A woman clawing up the ladder Screaming out my worth Fighting for me Loud and bold as to hide the truth I am unforgiven I am her A girl that they chose to throw away The unwanted gift, the unplanned burden The reminder of helplessness I am a choice I am her The one that looks away because the guilt is heavy the pain is searing My heart is gasping I am insufficient I am her A child of God Broken by Grace Hope of His future Given the choice of life I am forgiven for He is enough when they see me do they see who I am is only because of I AM ...

While doing my Bible study today, I was thinking about our chickens. I find it enjoyable to watch them dance around the yard and do well, chicken things. Anyone who has chickens know they have this thing called "pecking order". ..where either by their beautiful chickenness, meanness or other unknown factor they determine who is the top chicken and the cascading levels to the poor mutually bullied  bottom one. However, when I come outside, I pay no attention to the pecking order. I truly don't see the chickens as they see themselves. They are just my chickens and I have things I love about each of them; other than the rooster that likes to attack us and is going to find himself headed for chicken soup if he doesn't change his ways.... but that's another story. There is no Greek, no Jew, no male, no female, no rich, no poor in God's church. He doesn't see us as we see ourselves. He doesn't participate in our pecking order. He formed us in the womb. We a...

Thirst  "I thirst!" He cried.   and I couldn't comprehend Thirst it screamed within His soul     His life is near the end "I thirst!" He cried     Separated, Sacrificed He drank the Cup of Wrath     Pleased, God crushed Him Justice on our behalf. "I thirst" I cried Thirst created by a chasm     Heightened by the pain Cloaking me in darkness     Keeping me in shame He thirst, He died    The dividing curtain tore He thirst so I    May thirst no more.  KG 2013

Reflection. A pause to ponder things of the past. Lately, things have come across my path - blogs, conversations - that have caused me to reflect. I will celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary this year. Amazing! It sounds so cliche' but "Where has the time gone?"  I have changed so much in 25 years. My ideas. My beliefs. My goals. Where is the 18 year old girl that thought she would be a pediatric psychiatrist and put her children in daycare? I look and see that she and I are so different. Yet a part of her still dwells in the shadows of me.  How times change! When we swaddled that first child and brought her home, we were the progressive parents and we were going to get it right unlike the generations before. Progressive would have been better titled permissive and child-whipped. By the time child number two was coming home, we came to the conclusion this isn't working. We joined a parenting class that taught us a lot about discipline, but not much grace. This was...

Consider Jonah. A man chosen by God to reveal the words of God to the people. What a calling! God also called him to preach to a highly feared and violent group of people - the country of Nineveh. He did what almost any of us would do or at least think of doing - he ran. He is swallowed, broken and Jonah preaches. However, the story isn't about Jonah. It is about God! Jonah is the picture of any child of God that goes astray - the child that stamps his foot and says my way is better.  God met Jonah in the middle of sea.   Romans 8:  But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. 38   For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,  39  nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.   Including the middle of the sea. God, in His great mercy, took...

What is fruit? James tells us there will be works. When I was growing up I thought works or fruit in a Christian's life was how many people I brought to God. I am not really sure where that thinking came from. It was definitely the focal point of churches, Christian events and missionary success. However, salvation is in the hand of God. We cannot make anyone believe. So, it is wrong to use that as a sign of fruit. I think God does give us a very clear picture of fruit. I think it would be describe better as change. We change as a believer. That change becomes evident to others and affects how we interact in the world. There are too many verses that support this to be able to list more than a small fraction of them. Just read the whole New Testament. Well and the Old Testament :)  also supports this idea of change, Ezekiel 11 so beautifully tells us that God does this work. " Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them,  [fn]  and take...

Cautions: This has more to do with how we interact with others and examination. I have noticed a trend among conservative Christians that teach evidence of salvation. I have noticed a "spiritual gift" of fruit inspector arise. I have even heard of churches refusing people because they don't see a person have enough faith or fruit. I have seen people criticized, condemned, and disheartened to the point of leaving Christian fellowship. Then I have seen these same people justify it as these people were not really saved. This saddens, but doesn't surprise me. Satan will cause extremes to try and  make the work of Spirit ineffective.  I think that is why the Bible mentions so often how we should love each other. It is love that stands out and speaks volumes to unbelievers.  Yet, on the other side, we are not to "love" to the  point we throw out doctrine. The Bible IS doctrine and God finds it important enough to have written a whole book about it.  It is a de...

In my previous post, I briefly explained the reasons for examination of one's life and the few examples of examination of other's lives. The most important (and probably the least done) of all examination is of one's self. Lam 3:40  Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the LORD. 2 Cor 13:5  Test yourselves  to see  if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you—unless indeed you  fail the test? Gal 6:4   But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have  reason for  boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another. American is so against anyone doubting their faith. "Oh just remember that day you are saved.... write it down in the back of the Bible and look at it when you doubt." I never see that in scripture. Not once. Test yourself to see if you are in the faith Paul says, he does not say think back to the day we to...

You don't have to know me long to realize one of my passions is teaching evidence of salvation. When about 75% of Americans call themselves "Christian" ( Less call themselves Christian  - cnn article) then wouldn't we be a "Christian" nation. However, Jesus says in Matthew 7 that not all that say Lord Lord (emphasis in scripture ... Lord you are Lord!!!) are saved.  Matthew 7 also teaches that the way is narrow and FEW find it.  Again Matthew 22:14, many are called but FEW are chosen. This is consistent with a remnant being saved throughout the Bible. Even among the Jews, many were called out of Eygpt... not all of them were chosen. Many died quick deaths choosing idols over God ... even more never made it to the promised land. However, in America if you say a prayer you are saved. No! Not biblical. The Bible consistently in all scripture teaches change of life with salvation. Though I will not go into that in this post, I have touched on it in other posts...

Eric Liddel was a passionate man. He lived his passion in his faith in every nook of his life. He ran ... he ran fast. He won a bronze and a gold in the 1924 Olympics. He wouldn't compete in the 100 meter runs because they were held on Sunday. He was a man of God. He lived with conviction. I am sure he heard "Well done, my good and faithful servant". I love his quote. "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel his pleasure."  There are times when I write, not everytime, but in the quiet still times of praising God, I feel His pleasure. It is like He is pouring out His glory in my life and I have to write. In the times of snuggling kids, cleaning house, doing laundry or cooking a meal that makes the family feel I love them, I feel HIS pleasure. The times when His glory pours out into me and I do .... do whatever to the glory of God.  When do you feel His pleasure?

A little worm burrowing in the ground has no hope of communicating with a star. It wouldn't even know how to start. The vast difference is worlds away and languages apart. Yet, the star shines on the worm and covers it with its light. I feel I am much farther away from a Holy God. I desire to know Him and understand Him and try as I might, I don't even know where to start. Yet, God shines on me and calls me Beloved. What awesomeness is that!! He sees me struggle and  plea and hears. He gives me a glimpse of Him that overwhelms me, something that fills me that I don't even understand. He doesn't take pity on me.... He loves me. Words cannot express. A taste of sweetness I try to savor the flavor sweeter than anything I've known. A smell of heaven quickly blowing away as I try to understand what's shown. Oh God, my heart is swelling, wildly beating because it cannot contain Your love so filling, deeply pulsing Leaving me forever changed I we...

 Matthew states  "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men."  Salt also preserves keeps spoilage from happening. It is our job to offer flavor, the love the God, and to stand against decay. To say, "In the name of Christ, stop!" Here is such a beautiful example of it. This is from a speech by Ronald Reagan. The story of Telemachus may be found in the Foxes Book of Martyrs.  The Asian monk living in a little remote village, spending most of his time in prayer or tending the garden from which he obtained his sustenance -- I hesitate to say the name because I'm not sure I know the pronunciation, but let me take a chance. It was Telemacmus, back in the fourth century. And then one day, he thought he heard the voice of God telling him to go to Rome. And believing that he had heard, he set out. And weeks and weeks later, he arrived...

Every now and then in life, something comes along that shakes my world and makes me reevaluate everything. I feel I was blindsided by a force beyond anything I could stand against. I was casually catching the updates, cute quips, photos and inspirational links posted by friends on facebook. Then it came from nowhere, not really welcomed and with such power it couldn't be ignored. Chinese-Made Infant Flesh Capsules Seized   The comments regarding the article discussed Chinese cannibalism with pictures of babies cooked and floating in pots. STOP. Let that really sink in for a minute. The nausea and tears wouldn't stop. Days later the pit in the stomach still remains. Oddly enough an article said that countries typically ignore it because they don't want to upset the political ties.   ??!! I have spent days absentmindedly listening to/ reading about $10 hairbows to match outfits, the newest app, registering kids for sports, the newest TV show or twist and I could...

It is definitely through the hardships of life that God does most of his sanctifying. God has used many things the past couple years to teach me hard lessons.  It is hard to forgive. It is hard to let go of hurt. It is hard to give up and let things go, especially when I think I am right. Yet, I am not my own. I am bought by blood. I have to lay it all down. Matthew 5 says: You have heard that it was said, 'A N EYE FOR AN EYE ,  AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH .' 39   But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.   40   If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.   41   Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two.   42   Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. It continues to say Love your enemies, pray for them who persecute you.  It is so easy to think of enem...